Unlike most of my posts which have some point to make or idea I want to work through, this one is designed just for giggles. Mainly because I feel like writing and I’m waiting for the oven to COOK MY PIZZA YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
So we’re already a month in to 2015, and January had its ups and downs for me as I’m sure it did for most of you. Here are a few things I noticed in the last month:
1. I have truly atrocious taste in men. I had cause to reflect on my dating history recently, and realised that in the last year the people I’ve been interested in or had brief, fleeting, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it “relationships” with have included:
- A gay man. I didn’t know he was gay, obviously, although when I found out it made a lot of sense. That would explain why he was so easy to talk to, sweet, funny, and happy to talk about women’s rights
- A man who said “call me Daddy” when we were in bed together. This was actually 100% worth it because it’s many, many months later and I am still laughing
- Someone who thought a good idea for a first date was ‘hip hop karaoke.’ After I went back to him saying “Wow. Absolutely not” he pestered me about it for so long and irritated me so much that in the end I told him to just forget the whole thing
- A guy who had been ‘involved’ in a ‘community’ that was ‘flexible’ about exclusivity for the past year and only chose to broach the subject after we’d been going out for six weeks, when he was on holiday for a fortnight, in an email. And then had the nerve to tell me when we saw each other again (after I’d told him he could take a long walk off a short cliff) that I should have known about it because he once mumbled something about ‘the kink scene.’ WTF.
2. Right now, I have the best circle of friends I have ever had. Honestly. Never Had It So Good.
3. I am generally in a very good state, head-wise. Despite the past month having several shit fireworks exploding in it (as in, fireworks of shit, not rather mediocre fireworks displays) I have remained mostly cheerful and upbeat. I have also felt genuinely happy for no real reason at several points. I have had bad days – I had one this week which scared me because I hadn’t had a day when I just wanted to cry all the time for a while, and once you’ve had depression for a period, when you have days like that you always fear that it’s the beginning of another episode, and not just a shitty day that can be remedied with wine and a takeaway. As it turned out, it was just a bad day that was solved with blues dancing and a decent night’s sleep. I think it’s easy to forget sometimes how much a few not brilliant nights of sleep can build up to make you overtired without you noticing, and I’d been waking up at 5am and not getting back to sleep for a few nights in a row. So it shouldn’t have surprised me really. But I am very happy with how I keep bouncing back.
I have no idea how long the pizza has been in the oven. Oh well. It’s not burnt yet, so I’ll carry on.
4. I am not good at time management. I am currently trying to juggle working two days a week, being at university for my Masters three days a week, dancing two or three nights a week, swimming two mornings a week, writing as much as I can, watching episodes of Friends to relax (you absolutely cannot beat it, it’s so comforting), reading lots and lots, and seeing friends, eating, sleeping etc. It’s the work and uni balance which I’m struggling with most. I tend to get into work and take a few minutes to remember what I do there, and the same when I try to do stuff for uni. This means that I am a week and a half away from an essay deadline and I don’t yet have a title for the bloody thing. It will get done, one way or another.
Making time for reading is particularly important. It’s not just uni reading, which I obviously have to do, but fun reading too. I’ve read some crackers this month. Butcher’s Crossing by John Williams, a re-read of The Blindfold by Siri Hustvedt, which is astonishing, and then her The Summer without Men too – which was excellent and not ‘women’s fiction’ portraying women as moronic idiots who spend all their time thinking about men and shoes as the title implies. Ignore the title, and also the dreadful cover, especially the title font and the fact they chose a quote from the Daily Mail. It is quite light, particularly compared to her other stuff which has more psychological depth, but it has a lot more to it than it looks like it will. I’m now reading Amy Poehler’s Yes Please, and it’s everything I hoped it would be already. But really, I do need to start organising my time better. Little things like my Masters degree result and The Future depend on it, a bit.
My pizza is done and only slightly burnt, so that counts as a success. I hope 2015 is working out for you too so far.
(I now have a greasy keyboard as I’ve been writing, editing and eating at the same time. Please see note on poor time management, above.)